thumb_IMG_4219_1024thumb_IMG_4220_1024

The Southfields station, closest point to go to the Wimbledon queue, bears a Wimbledon look and feel!

thumb_IMG_4221_1024thumb_IMG_4222_1024

And at right above, is the Wimbledon station itself, where I went, to purchase a sleeping bag. For my all-night stay in the queue

for the tickets

! thumb_IMG_4236_1024thumb_IMG_4237_1024thumb_IMG_4238_1024

And as one moves out of the station and walks towards Wimbledon, the streets beckon. You know you are in Wimbledon territory. Unambiguously!

thumb_IMG_4240_1024thumb_IMG_4242_1024

And as I reach the place where the queue builds up, at 8-30 pm on the previous night, I am amazed to see a few hundred people already there, before me! Tents are laid out and people have got quite comfortable too..

thumb_IMG_4243_1024thumb_IMG_4245_1024

The view of the camping ground in the evening, with tents and people all over.

thumb_IMG_4244_1024thumb_IMG_4247_1024

And in the middle of the elaborate tents, my rather unpretentious little sleeping bag :)

Early morning, with a beautiful sky, and people waking up from the tents, and sleeping bags, etc.

thumb_IMG_4288_1024thumb_IMG_4290_1024 thumb_IMG_4291_1024thumb_IMG_4293_1024 thumb_IMG_1185_1024thumb_IMG_1187_1024

The left-luggage place where tents and other stuff can be left, as you move from the queue and into Wimbledon. Also you can see young and old alike, waiting patiently.

thumb_IMG_4303_1024thumb_IMG_4319_1024

So when I reached at 8-30 pm, I got a queue number of 1378. So 1377 people before me already. However, there were 500 reserved seats each, for centre court, court no. 1 and court no. 2 to be given away. Or 1500 in total. So at 1378, I was assured of a reserved seat in one of these three courts. By morning, when the queue moved ahead, and people ahead of me, started making their choices – whether to get centre court, court no. 1 or to NOT take a reserved seat (they can take a basic entry into Wimbledon which allows one to walk around, and also get into the multiple other courts, where there are no reserved seats!) – by the time, my turn came, I was fortunate to get a firm seat on court no. 1. The wrist band confirmed that allocation.

thumb_IMG_4323_1024thumb_IMG_4324_1024

And finally the queue starts moving forward in the morning, around 7-30 am or so. And the excitement builds up further.

thumb_IMG_4326_1024thumb_IMG_4327_1024 thumb_IMG_4330_1024thumb_IMG_4332_1024

The foot bridge crossed, and then you see the board of the Wimbledon Lawn Tennis Museum. And you are just around the corner from the turnstiles, where you’ll purchase the ticket and go inside WImbledon! Against advance purchase ticket prices of 600 Pounds or 1000 Pounds or 1500 Pounds, the tickets offered to the people in queue, were as low as 50 Pounds for Centre Court, and 42 Pounds for Court no.1, etc. Really attractive pricing!!

thumb_IMG_4334_1024thumb_IMG_4335_1024

And then you spot “Centre Court”. Oh my God!! It’s like spotting the sacred idol, after a long queue on a pilgrimage! Also spotted the board that showed what matches were going on, on what courts. Many of the courts have unreserved seats, and especially on day one, you might find some good players, playing on the outside courts. You need to make the most of the opportunity then, land up early at that court, and get a seat. These outside courts have limited seating capacity.

thumb_IMG_4337_1024thumb_IMG_4338_1024 thumb_IMG_4340_1024thumb_IMG_4342_1024

Beautiful spaces, green all over. And the typical Wimbledon store, selling merchandise!

thumb_IMG_4344_1024thumb_IMG_4345_1024

And the famous “hill” where one can hang out, eat strawberries and cream (grossly overhyped, by the way), grab a beer or some wine, And as Federer was not playing on the day I was there, and in any case, I had not got centre court tickets, this was the closest I could get to God aka Federer!!

thumb_IMG_4343_1024thumb_IMG_4347_1024

The smaller outside courts. One can just walk by and see the games. Good players often found playing here, and one can feel extremely close to the players, on these courts!

thumb_IMG_4346_1024thumb_IMG_4348_1024

Ahh.. you noticed the cap and the T-shirt. Any guesses who I am an ardent fan of?? ;-P And now I am on my seat. In a court no. 1 stadium which is pretty large, thanks to the penance of the overnight queue, I am on row 5 or 6 behind the chair umpire. Extremely close to the court!! Amazing seat.. By the way, the Indian lady seen below (and her family) were waiting in the queue from Sunday MORNING around 9-30 am!! And they were about 560 in the queue. And they did not get centre court. And were on court no 1 just a couple of rows ahead of me! And I had gone at 8-30 pm at night.. Guess they had really bad luck, after being so early and waiting for so long, to miss out on centre court.. !

The court no. 1 before the players come in.

thumb_IMG_4349_1024thumb_IMG_4359_1024 thumb_IMG_1211_1024thumb_IMG_1212_1024

The unformed people and the specific positions – all that goes to make Wimbledon, Wimbledon.

thumb_IMG_1214_1024thumb_IMG_1215_1024

The linesmen walk in and take their position. There are two sets of folks – the entire linesmen team is rotated after every few games, perhaps to ensure against fatigue and mistakes. In fact, the same thing happens with ball boys and ball girls. Changed every few games.

thumb_IMG_1213_1024thumb_IMG_1216_1024

I am set too!! For the first match to being. Women’s top seed starts proceedings here, Serena Williams vs Margarita Gasparyan.

thumb_IMG_1218_1024thumb_IMG_1220_1024

And the players walk out.

The match begins. Margarita puts up a good fight initially before Serena asserted herself and took over. Here’s a good rally.

thumb_IMG_1221_1024thumb_IMG_1222_1024 thumb_IMG_1223_1024thumb_IMG_1231_1024 thumb_IMG_1225_1024thumb_IMG_1224_1024thumb_IMG_1226_1024

Serena in full flow..

thumb_IMG_1227_1024thumb_IMG_1234_1024

Serena serve in slow motion!

thumb_IMG_1228_1024thumb_IMG_1230_1024thumb_IMG_1236_1024thumb_IMG_1232_1024thumb_IMG_1235_1024

And Serena prevails.

thumb_IMG_1188_1024thumb_IMG_1189_1024

Large crowds enjoying Wimbledon

thumb_IMG_1190_1024thumb_IMG_1191_1024 thumb_IMG_1193_1024thumb_IMG_1194_1024

The outside courts – much cosier, smaller stands, feel closer to the game..

thumb_IMG_1195_1024thumb_IMG_1197_1024 thumb_IMG_1200_1024thumb_IMG_1202_1024

On right are the practise courts, where one could be lucky to find some big players knocking away. I could not recognise the players on the court, except for Hewitt, on the left court.

thumb_IMG_1205_1024thumb_IMG_1206_1024

On the left is the pavilion from where players come out. Fans crowd around to spot the stars walking out!

thumb_IMG_1207_1024thumb_IMG_1208_1024

Another entry for the centre court on the left, and a huddle of linesmen outside their court, on the right..

thumb_IMG_1209_1024thumb_IMG_1210_1024

On the left is the formal entrance to the All England Lawn Tennis Club, and on the right is a scoreboard showing updated scores from the various courts

thumb_IMG_1238_1024thumb_IMG_1239_1024

Nishikori and Bolelli coming in for their first round match.

thumb_IMG_1237_1024thumb_IMG_1240_1024

thumb_IMG_1245_1024thumb_IMG_1241_1024thumb_IMG_1246_1024

thumb_IMG_1244_1024thumb_IMG_1243_1024thumb_IMG_1242_1024

thumb_IMG_1247_1024thumb_IMG_1256_1024

Nishikori service in slow motion!

thumb_IMG_1257_1024thumb_IMG_1250_1024

Bolelli service in slow motion

thumb_IMG_1261_1024thumb_IMG_1263_1024

A hard-fought 5-setter win for Nishikori. A repeat of how the two met last year at Wimbledon, and Nishikori won a 5-setter then too.

thumb_IMG_1264_1024thumb_IMG_1265_1024

Nishikori did have an injury which needed to be attended to, while the match was one. That may have been the reason for the long-drawn 5-setter. As it turned out, though Nishikori won this match, he dropped out of Wimbledon thereafter, due to the injury!

Managed to get to the Star Movies Secret Screening yesterday. Basically an invite-only movie screening organised by Star Movies, where you don’t know what movie you are going to see, until the movie starts inside the theatre!

Had missed the last couple of these invites due to travel etc., but managed to reach yesterday.

And was happy to see Vidhu Vinod Chopra’s first Hollywood film, Broken Horses.

vidhu-vinod-chopras-hollywood-film-compressed

At the outset, it is an amazing feat by an Indian producer and director. To go west and create a product that it totally a Hollywood film. Not an NRI story, not an India-based story told to global audiences. This is an out-and-out American film, in appearance. Characters, actors, location (what looks like Southern Texas maybe, close to Mexican border!)… everything. Not even a remote connect to anything Indian, on the front side. Of course, on the back of it, are many Indian names, including producer and director, Vidhu Vinod Chopra, and many others in the crew.

So first of all, salute to Vidhu Chopra for this dare, and for making it happen!

So how does an Indian director go west and create a product there?
Does he pick a script from some US scriptwriters? And try to see what will be interesting and appealing to the western audience. Also to “feel” the script enough, to be able to passionately direct it and create a good product out of it.

This can always be challenging.

So what’s the next best thing?

To see if you already have a script that can be adapted to that audience!

Yes, we have heard and seen American movies being converted to their Indian equivalents (even shows like 24, for example). What happens in such instances, is that the western storyline gets “adapted” to an Indian setting. Some play with the story, some Indianisation, and of course, adding song and dance, if workable..

Has anyone been audacious to think that an Indian story / script can be converted to appeal an international viewer??

Well, that’s the path that Vidhu Chopra adopts.

And of all the body of work that he has himself directed, perhaps the one that suited best for a western adaptation, was Parinda.

And which is exactly what he does in Broken Horses.

Adapts the story of Parinda, quite brilliantly, into an American setting, with the same anger and passion, and creates a really fascinating product.

I for one, liked the treatment although, you can’t help but compare the actors to those in Parinda. In specific terms, Nana Patekar was definitely better as that character, compared to his Hollywood equivalent.

I have loved Vidhu Vinod Chopra’s films, from Parinda, to 1942, A Love Story, to Mission Kashmir, etc. Of course, he has produced some amazing work too. Here with Broken Horses, he scales one new peak.

Congratulations, Vidhu Vinod Chopra!

So just a while back, Karan Johar was at his baddest badass talk when he ‘came out’ at this AIB event, the AIB Knockout – The Roast of Arjun Kapoor and Ranveer Singh.

299285-thumbI am just linking to that YouTube video here and not actually embedding it here, because, being a “family blog”, if I had to really embed the show video here, it would keep going beep-beep-beep, etc.

That show was crazy! Crazy, unbelievable that it happened in public, made me wonder if there is anything like a censor board for such stand-up shows. Of course, also made me wonder if we really need one today? Has the society moved on to a level where these inhibitions are a thing of the past, and any language, any sexual innuendo, any admission of sexcapades or preferences, etc. can be out in the open, without needing to worry about anything at all?? And if that is the case, then sure, we don’t really need censors, and shows like these can be the norm.

That a standup act of this nature is no more restricted to the four walls of a small theatre, but via YouTube, goes out to millions, makes it more critical. In terms of censorship or not!

KMlkjalia-bhatt1

But that said, it was clear that all of the folks present on stage there, and several stars in the front rows too (Alia, Deepika, Sonakshi, among others) were all having a ball. Perhaps for once, to be in public, not required to be politically correct, about anything or anyone, and also about language!

And Karan Johar was also enjoying it, as was his mom, sitting out there on the first row!

So since the Filmfare Awards night followed just a little later, where again, Karan Johar was on stage, the worry that the organisers had, was that what if he liked the AIB freedom so much, that the hangover of that openness showed up at the Filmfare Awards too..?? Wouldn’t that be one disaster??!

sdror8h4cyrxtudj.D.0.Filmmaker-Karan-Johar-at-the-first-look-launch-of-JHALAK-DIKHHLA-JAA-Season-6--2-Here is what they were worried about:

“And the life time achievement award goes to this mother-&%$#* who’s spent his life sleeping around with the industry, ______”

or

“Yeah, yeah, these are the debutantes, and we know just how they got the films and how they made this list, don’t we?” **Wink-wink to Ranveer, Shah Rukh and other stars.**

or after Shahid Kapoor takes his award and makes his way down, Karan, keeps watching him from behind (rather, “keeps watching his behind”) and blurts out “Ouch! What an a**..!”

or when a co-host brings up the “touchy” subject of his relationship with Shah Rukh, he explodes, “Haa.. tha mera lafda uske saath.. tha.. kya ukhaad lega tu, b&*%$@*d..?!”

or when the young director won his award, and tucked the award into his pants as he made his acceptance speech, Karan says, “when he came to the Dharma office, he wouldn’t let me into his pants, and now the bas&!#d tucks the black lady inside..!!”

With fears of such possibilities, the organisers had got Kapil Sharma around, so that if necessary, they could drag Karan down, and out of the show, and let Kapil handle it independently.. !

 

(** Written in faking news style, with malice to one and all.. ;-) **)

 

 

 

HaiderVishal Bhardwaj has clearly earned his place in the Hall of Fame of Indian cinema! I would rate him as one of the most creative filmmakers that we have, and of course, he also is one of our best music composers (to begin with!).

His latest creation, Haider, clearly bears his stamp of class. I have heard people say that this one is Vishal’s best work so far. I would personally not go that far, not because I can pick some other film that deserves that position, but simply because it is a tough call to make. Vishal has made many amazing movies, and Haider does rank amongst bis best works, but I would find it hard to give it a specific number 1 tag.

While the admiration for Vishal Bhardwaj is clear and total, another person that demands an even greater acknowledgement is William Shakespeare!! I have not read much of Shakespeare but of course, recognise his stature! After seeing Haider, I read up a synopsis of Hamlet and realised that Haider was so closely related to the original story. And that is amazing! Haider as a story, is very believable in today’s times, and yet, it’s inspiration was Hamlet, which was written by the Bard of Avon, who lived from 1564 to 1616!! A story written nearly 400 years back, continues to seem relevant in today’s times, is the absolutely mind-boggling fact to appreciate!

VishalbAnd as I now relate to the other works of Shakespeare that Vishal has converted to movies, viz. Omkara and Maqbool, what comes out as a common ground, are the complex characters that he sketched.  Tabu and Irrfan in Maqbool, Ajay Devgan and Saif Ali Khan in Omkara, and Shahid and Tabu here in Haider, play characters with extremely mixed and complex minds, and it is their behaviour that makes the very interesting story-lines.

Salute to the most amazing writer ever, perhaps, William Shakespeare, for writing such timeless beauties!

Having heard and read enough about Haider, I couldn’t wait longer than the morning of the first day of a long weekend, and landed up at a 9-30 am show! And as the canvas opened up, very early, I could sense a similarity with Gulzar’s Maachis, which incidentally was the Bhardwaj’s first major film as a music composer, in 1996.

A society ravaged by terrorism in the names of freedom struggle, the accompanying free hand to the army, and which creates its share of monsters and abuse, the disturbed youth and disturbed life in the region, the helplessness and resigned fates that people feel under the circumstances… all of these were seen in the Punjab of Maachis, and were felt similarly, in the Kashmir of Haider. Gulzar, Vishal and Tabu were the common factors in the two films, as were the snow filled winter mountains!

A67_ssVishal does love to work with his ‘regulars’.

I guess, Shahid Kapoor may do nothing for 3-4 years (or do some inconsequential stuff) before Vishal gives him a great film each time, and he should be happy with that state. After Kaminey, this is the next big one for Shahid with Vishal, and it is indeed, a tremendous, power-packed, central role. Subdued by the character, Shahid needs to bring out a range of emotions, and he does so quite brilliantly.

Tabu is another regular Vishal Bhardwaj favourite, and she is clearly one of the best actors we have. She picks and chooses her films, so we don’t see much of her, and it is always a pleasure to get those rare opportunities of seeing her on screen. Like Maqbool, her character here too is a challenging one, and she is impressive as ever.

While Hamlet apparently had a strong Oedipus complex from the central character, here that aspect is underplayed. But a strong emotional relationship does exist between the two.

Kay Kay Menon is one underrated actor in Bollywood. Over time, across many films, he has shown his acting prowess, and he does so here as well. Shraddha Kapoor also gives a very credible performance, and does look the part of a Kashmiri girl. There are good cameos from Kulbhushan Kharbanda and another Bhardwaj regular, Irrfan Khan.

haider1There are stunning visuals of Kashmir, especially the snow clad mountains and trees, the beautiful foliage. And as the credits conveyed at the end, all of the Kashmir scenes were actually shot in Kashmir, no matter the security issues etc. So we got a chance to see the absolutely fabulous landscapes that Kashmir is about.

Original score from Vishal Bhardwaj had to be good! Specifically, he has brought in tremendous authenticity with sounds and words from the region, which evoke emotions related to the story, even as you hear the songs. Gulzar and Faiz Ahmed Faiz have been credited for the lyrics. Gulzar, of course, had to be there! Vishal’s and Gulzar’s is a strong bond, almost approaching the one that Gulzar shared with R D Burman, maybe..?!

The Bismil song which enacts a scene, so to say, from the story, is quite like the “Janm leke kahi phir woh pahocha wahin..” recap song-scene from Karz. But it is interesting to see that it is not just Vishal Bhardwaj’s way of enacting the story, but that this was part of the original Shakespeare tale!!

And even as you marvel at Hamlet and Shakespeare, and at Vishal Bhardwaj and Shahid Kapoor and Tabu, what is most striking is the reality of life in Kashmir. As a dialogue says, “the entire Kashmir is a jail” or another that urges Haider to go to Aligarh, so as to “experience another India, where there are no day time curfews, and night time closures”. Such has become life in Kashmir, and with it, it has taken a toll of entire generations of people, of trade and tourism, and deprived the world of seeing “Jannat” on the face of earth!! Thank you, Vishal Bhardwaj, for giving us a perspective of all of this..

 

For a few years now, I have zeroed in on a simple white-shirt-and-blue-jeans as a regular form of dressing for myself. Most days, if not all.

SPM-WSBJ1 SPM-WSBJ2

It started as a whim of sorts. Our planning team was debating a pitch and had come up with an interesting central theme for a brand. I am able to share it now, as it did not take off, for whatever reason.

The central theme thought of then, was “Simple Hai, Great Hai”. And while I won’t get into the relevance of this, for that brand, as an example of what’s simple and great, came up the white-shirt-blue-jeans concept. That it symbolised the “Simple-Hai-Great-Hai” story.

It stayed in my mind. And refused to go out.

Till one fine day, I thought of embracing it. And decided to make that my dress. My way. My uniform. My style.

Whatever you may call it.

And while the whites have not been a specific type of white, nor have the blue jeans been only a particular kind of blue, broadly speaking, the combination has stayed. And I have been extremely comfortable about it.

And which is when I came across this really interesting article recently:

blog

 

While  I had not thought so deeply when I chose to shift to a defined pair of clothing, I feel flattered to even think that eminent luminaries have / had followed a certain practise of this kind too! In fact, the first person I had seen in my life, personally, who had chosen a standard pattern of clothing, also happens to be someone I have idolised, for the longest period of time, viz. my paternal grandfather.

From the time that I can remember, he only wore a white shirt and a white pant, both cotton. Simple living, high thinking, is what he symbolised.

But obviously, about the only thing I share with these great people, including my grandfather, is that I have also been dressing in a certain, standard manner, for a while now.

But reading the above mentioned article, and thinking a little more about this, I do realise that this dressing sense, has been a part of a certain larger shift that has happened in my life, over the last few years.

And which fundamentally is about LIVING the life that “doesn’t fret the small stuff”!

Yes, in many ways, the message from the article resonates. That there are far too many decisions that DEMAND our time, and if there are others that are not critical, why worry much about them.

I am fine with what food is cooked at home. I don’t want to play a role in planning the menu.

I am okay to be driven by my driver as long as he can take me to where I want to go. I don’t want to tell him much about bearing to the left, going little slow, or taking a particular route.

I am okay to let my colleagues or my team take decisions in areas, where my involvement is not a necessity. I’d rather stay focused on areas where it is important for me to participate as I am probably best suited in those, and they are critical enough for me to be involved.

One always has choices in life. The option could be to stay extremely tense, be stressed about the smallest thing that happens around you (which you must necessarily be in control) or let some things be. And find peace within yourself. And focus to do best, what you anyway, need to do.

Believe me, this is easier said than done, for an entrepreneur. I work on it, but I wouldn’t say I have mastered it. But increasingly, in a busy-busy, dynamic world, this is only becoming more critical, the way I see it.

That is my choice anyway.. don’t know what you feel about it? Would be great to see your views too, on this. Do share your comments.

Finally, as this refers to my white-shirt-blue-jeans routine, I cannot help but mention the wonderful gift that my team gave me on my last birthday. To my pleasant surprise, as I walked into the office that day, I saw the sea of white and blue, as the team came dressed in white shirts and blue jeans! Pretty amazing, it was..

1381647_10151651732461577_325635340_n

We live in the era of war and tragedy and accidents and some mayhem.

So usually, when we hear of the gallantry of a fire fighter who fought and saved people from burning to death, or the man on the border, who fought an attack from the enemy, or a bus driver who rescues passengers from the bus, even while risking his life, we do find ourselves applauding these brilliant acts and the people responsible for them.

And rightly so.

And yet, there are possibly many many more who need to be acknowledged, but who don’t get the same (or any) credit.

Let me give a few examples:

1. Recently there was a fire in a commercial building in Mumbai, causing a lot of damage, injuries to many firefighters, and even the death of one of them. This is the incident I refer to:

http://www.dnaindia.com/mumbai/report-mumbai-building-fire-one-fireman-dies-in-multi-storey-building-fire-in-andheri-2003106

Most certainly the fire fighters did a commendable job. Perhaps against a lot of odds. And they ensured that damage was restricted to the minimum, even at the cost of their own lives.

Think however, if there could have been another bigger hero.

The building inspector maybe, who spotted inadequate fire fighting facilities, or some changes made in the building which made it a fire hazard, etc. and who orders those to be fixed, much before the fire happened.

The building secretary maybe, who against all odds of the clout of the owners, who insist on having their way, manages to get changes done, so as to make the building a safer building for fires.

And ensures that the fire does not even happen!

Will such people even be acknowledged?? They will, in fact, be hated because they cause inconvenience, and force changes, and cause discomfort and expenses!!

2. War heroes or security forces who fight terrorists, are always celebrated. Those who combatted the insurgents in Kargil and won the war for India. Or those who fought off the terrorists at the Taj Mahal Hotel in Mumbai.

Absolutely deserved heroes of our times!

How about the ones on the border who day in and day out, look for the gaping holes from where enemy could sneak in. And keep covering those gaps. Keep ensuring that an enemy attack does not even happen. Perhaps risking their own lives, as they expose themselves to risk out there.

Or in case of the terror attack in Mumbai, what if a Coast Guard had identified a weakness in the system, ordered for fixes, ensured that some new equipment was ordered and installed, and fundamentally prevented an attack of this sort. We’d probably be thinking of the large capital expenditure, and whether there are kickbacks involved!

Leave alone giving him any due, for potentially preventing a Mumbai terror attack of that quantum, from happening!

3. This post was inspired in fact, by this story about an Air India plane that averted disaster,on account of some quick and smart thinking from the pilots on board.

http://www.rediff.com/news/report/how-air-india-crew-averted-a-major-air-disaster/20140718.htm

With 315 passengers on board, we could have been staring at a major disaster. Which thankfully, did not happen, due to the adept handling by the captains on board.

But as the article says, there was little or no mention of this heroic deed. As against that, if there had been a crash, God forbid, it would have been all over the papers!

That is the sad situation where a lot of heroes who ensure that disasters don’t happen, remain unsung heroes in society.

There is a certain apathy around those who are process oriented, who are finicky to the detail, who seem to have an eye to spot mistakes and alert.. they are not celebrated, but in fact, made fun of. Little realising that, these in fact, are the bigger heroes in our lives.

Let’s learn to respect processes, respect these individuals who work at it, relentlessly..

politician-cartoon-in-india_sIt was quite a unique and interesting proposal that the party had come up with, as a part of their manifesto, so the journalist decided to go and meet the senior minster to understand more about the proposal..

Interviewer: “Sir, where other metros have been working on setting up conventions centres and exhibition grounds in the city, your proposal for Delhi is something very different?”

Leader: “Yes, it is. You see, what Delhi needs today, is not one more convention centre or exhibition ground. What we needs are a few places where Dharnas can happen comfortably..”

Interviewer: “Few places? Why not just one??”

Leader: “See, this is the problem with you, young reporters. You do not go to the depth of any issue…”

“You know that there are all kinds of Dharnas and we need to take care of all of the different types…”

Interviewer: “Sir, pardon my ignorance on this. But for the benefit of our viewers, can you please explain what are the different type of dharnas?”

Leader: “Offooo.. yeh bhi samjhana padega.. chalo theek hai…”

“See, one is the length of the dharna.. from few hours to a full day to a few days to in fact, the Anna Hazare kind, of many many days…; so we need to see if we need to provide sleeping facilities, toilets, bathrooms, changing rooms, etc…”dharna

“Then, we have to consider the size of audience that the dharna may attract. From few where barely 10-15 people gather – ok, never mind, that is not even called a dharna then. But say, from 100 to 500 to 5,000 to 50,000… we have to account for different kinds. Not only to cover the standing / seating space, but the approach road, exits, canteen facilities, toilet blocks… nahin to bahut gandagi reh jaati hai, dharna ke baad. Akhir log kitna control karke baithe rahenge..?”

“The other aspect is the quality of the dharna. Is it a fast-unto-death? In that case, we have to arrange for refrigerated nimbu paani facility…”

Interviewer: “Sorry to interrupt you, Sir. But if they are fasting, why do you need nimbu paani service?”

Leader: “When is the last time that someone actually fasted to his death?? Arre, yeh death-beth kehne wali baat hai. Koi nahi marta. Everyone waits for the right moment to have the nimbu paani. Now, when that moment comes, we do not know. So it is best to provide for a refrigerated supply of nimbu paani ready and available. After all, if we are creating the state-of-the-art dharna facility, we have to take care of this aspect too, no?”

Interviewer: “Wow, I never thought of all this. Sir, what other facilities you plan to have in these centres?”

Leader: “We have a large media centre at all of these places. Of course, if it is a 100-member dharna place, there will be space for only one OB van. The media will have to find a way to share the signals. But for the larger facilities, multiple OB vans can be parked and there will be space for the on-ground reporters and the cameramen to freshen up, do their last minute makeup, have chai-paani, etc. What we must appreciate is that, while the suited-booted stars of the news channels sitting in their air-conditioned studios get all the limelight, it is the on-ground reporters and the cameramen, who really struggle to send the news as it happens, and it is our duty, to take care of their well being..”

Interviewer: “Wah, that is so noble of you. Sir, you have taken care of television. But we are living in the times of social media. Are you doing anything special for them?”

Leader: “This is the first smart question you have asked! And yes, of course, we are a forward thinking party, and we have considered everything for the social media folks…”

“All the dharna centres will be fully wi-fi equipped – that too at 3G levels, and when 4G comes in, we will upgrade too. And there will be no license wars here.. hahaha.. (*laughs heartily as his own joke*). Plus, we will have charging stations all over, for the phones and the tablets and for those, who are still on their old laptops! There will be facility for the dharna organisers to constantly release video clips and official photos, that the social media types can take and share ahead.. and there will be facilities on the stage, where the dharna leaders are sitting, for them to live tweet too….”

“PLUS, we are doing something that not even the biggest of exhibitions or tradeshow folks have done in India yet. We will set up mega Social Media Command Centres at the two biggest dharna facilities, where multiple large screens will show in realtime, all the various tweets and facebook updates about the dharna, as they are happening, so people can pick up trends, see if any other political leaders are also tweeting, etc. and take necessary further steps…”

Interviewer: “Wow.. I am so impressed. This is truly a first-of-its-kind anywhere in the world…”

“But Sir, while you are doing all this for Delhi, the people of Delhi are definitely NOT going to be happy about this. It causes tremendous inconvenience to them in terms of traffic snarls and what not. And now as per your plans to create 5 different dharna centres in Delhi, the people are going to get disgusted. And in fact, they may not vote for you, in spite of this fantastic plan that you have come up with…?”

Leader: “Haha.. hum ko kya bewakoof samjha hai? Do you think, we will do all this, only to lose votes from Delhi??”

“The concern for the people of Delhi comes first. What we are proposing, for each of these dharna locations, is a direct flyover to the place, from the nearest railway station and from the airport. This flyover will not disturb any other traffic and that way, it will ensure that regular traffic in Delhi, keeps moving on fine. Now you understand? Delhi will get the benefit of numerous dharnas that will be based in the city – and the accompanying economic benefits to the trade in Delhi – and yet, it will not impact any traffic problems for the residents of the city…”

“Now, isn’t that a winning strategy??”

Interviewer: “Yes, Minister…”