Random Musings

McDonals delivers in Mumbai – something they have not done anywhere else in the world. Wonder if processes that have not undergone repeated tests and trials at their end and are introduced in a country like India thus, can become a damaging cause to their brand?? I had a bad experience with a delivery order that I tried to place couple of days back.

Here is what happened.
I was at my Sun Mills Compound office, at around 8:15 pm, and which is bang across the road from Phoenix Mills, where McDonalds has an outlet. I got a call from my daughters and they were in a mood to have burgers for dinner and wanted me to get these from McDonalds, on my way back home.

Since I see the McD scooties whenever I go into Phoenix Mills, I remembered that they deliver, so instead of going to the outlet, I thought of ordering them, and keep working till the order comes in. I had to get the Lower Parel outlet numbers from Just Dial, as I have never needed to call McD in the past. I called the Lower Parel numbers, and got a reply in stuttering English (problem 1 for McD’s image..!) that I needed to dial another number for ordering. Fair enough.. got the other number. After several attempts, managed to get across to that number. It was about 8:25 pm by this time. I told them that I wanted to order. They asked me for my name and telephone number (fair enough, I thought; Domino’s recognises a subsequent call, from telephone number, so no harm in giving these details first). Only after I had given these details, instead of taking my order, he said that someone will call me back. I told him that it had taken a while to get across to you, and again if it takes time for the person to call me back, when will I place an order?? He promised that someone will call in just 2 minutes. Satisfied at that reply, I put the phone down and continued to work. And in my work, it just slipped my mind that the call never came in. I remembered it only at around 8:55 pm (a good 25 minutes later), at which time, I called that number back and asked the person that how come no one had called. Perhaps he did not have a reply, and he mumbled that the slip on which my number was written, must have got lost. I was aghast that first, such a thing could happen at McD, and second, that he would have the cheek to say something as silly as this. Are we talking of a billion dollar valued brand here, or what??

I asked to speak to a senior, and was put in touch with Mr. Augustine Alfonso, the shift supervisor. He heard me out, and was mildly apologetic, but started giving me an explanation. That there were so many terminals, and all of them were busy. I queried that Domino’s delivers in thirty minutes and you have not even taken an order in this time!!

I suggested that I will complain to the senior management and to McDonalds, USA, but that did nothing to him. NOT ONCE did they suggest that sorry for the time that has gone by, but let me take your order right away, and get you the orde soon. NO – THEY DID NOT SUGGEST THIS AT ALL! Ultimately, I gave up and did not order and had to give the sad news to my disappointed daughters!

I have written to Mr. Amit Jatia, and posted the complaint at McDonalds’ corporate site. Have not heard anything from either of them so far..

– Sanjay

If a person went into coma few years back and returned back to life now, he would think that Martians have invaded our earth!

OR a huge case of deafness has struck the people on our planet!

Yes, I am referring to the funny ear pieces and dangling wires hanging out of people’s ears nowadays.

Remember those times when such ear pieces and wires were associated with earing pieces, or devices that helped deaf persons to listen better? And now we have just so many people walking around with these pieces and wires, and talking on their mobile phones!

And then there are some with those funny looking Bluetooth wireless devices. Those that stick on the ear and appear like one of those fancy large sized ear jewellery that are in vogue nowadays. Hey how about if that Blue tooth device was shaped and designed a little better, with some nice stones or beads on it, and perhaps of golden or silver colour, and hey, it would disguise well as a piece of jewellery. Anyway, men often wear their ear jewellery on one ear only, so it will not appear to be out of place if its only on one ear!

Some funny and interesting anecdotes as a consequence of this present day ear wires connecting the cell phone:

– In year 2000, these ear pieces and wires were not quite common yet. In fact, I had not seen one or heard about one till the time I took a flight in the US, on one of the domestic airlines there. Interestingly, this airline had a few seats where passengers face each other – like 2 passengers in a row, and 2 others in a row across them, and facing each other. I got into one such seat, and the plane was yet to take off. And just then the person who had come and sat across of me, started talking. There was no one else around, and so I thought he is making some conversation with me. But there had been no introductions, no greetings, we had scarcely come and sat at our seats, so this conversation took me by surprise. And I looked at him and tried to make sense of what he had said. And I saw him continue talking. At that time, I noticed this wire hanging out of his ear, and thankfully, it hit me soon enough that he was talking on a small microphone. Later he took out his cell phone from the pocket, to switch it off, before the take off. That completed the set of explanations to me.

I was laughing inside of me, imagining how it would have been, had I tried to respond back to his initial ‘conversation’! Reminded me of the extremely funny “One black coffee, please…” advertisement of a mobile phone, long back. I don’t even remember what brand was being advertised, but the ad itself has stuck on in the head. Beautiful one, it was.

– The other interesting consequence of this wired ear pieces, has been to my singing. You ask, ‘What? Singing? How is that connected??’
Well, its like this. When I am driving and either on account of the radio or tape that is playing in the car, or just because I think of a song, I feel like singing along. But earlier, if I was driving alone, and having people look inside cars, especially at traffic lights, I hesitated to sing. What if people thought I was mad, moving my lips as if I am talking to myself? So I controlled myself. Now, thanks to the wire that hangs from my ears, as I drive, I am relaxed. If I sing out loudly in the car, and if anyone happens to be looking at me, they will only think that I am making conversation on my hands-free instrument. They will not think of me as crazy, and I can go ahead and keep singing!!

– And I have a question now. At parties and meetings where lot of people have these wires hanging out from their ears, I find many people keep receiving calls all the time. And my phone hardly rings. Is that bad? Do I have to feel that I am not wanted? Or do I feel better that work has been well organised and it can happen even in my absence? I need answers. I am feeling so insecure.. 😉

– The other day I got this salesman show me an MP3 player in a watch. And just as I was wondering whether it will have some wireless ear piece to go with it, he showed me this wire and earphones. The wire needed to go into the watch the ear phone to the ear. And just imagining how it would look, freaked me out. Its like when they take a convict from one place to another in a train or an airplane, they handcuff the person. And then when the policeman accompanying the guy needs to go to the rest room, he puts a chain on the handcuffs, and chains it with a lock, to something, so that the convict does not run away. This wire running from the wrist watch to the ear, and going swish-swash, back and forth, as you walk around, would seem something like that, wouldn’t it?

The new world and its new ways…!

Remember the popular song, ‘Choli ke peeche kya hai’?
That song may have had posed some questions to some people at the time when the song became a hit, but another question that has plagued people for years, has been, ‘Burkhe ke peeche kya hai?’

In this day and age, one often wonders about the relevance of the Burkha. Muslim women have scaled many heights and being beneath the burkha does scant justice to them. However, this post is not about the merits or demerits of the burkha culture.

What I am talking about is the mystery that is, the burkha clad woman!

Sometimes the face is visible and there is lesser mystery. But many times, its only the eyes that are visible, and occasionally, even the eyes are kind of hidden with a cover of sorts. That is when imagination comes into play.

In that, if you get a chance to see well manicured toes and soft feet sneaking out from below the burkha, that can conjure up a notion of what else is above it. And if by chance, you have the previlege of listening to a beautiful voice from under the burkha, there is no way that you can stop your mind from creating a vision around it all!

So what is it that fascinates men about such burkha clad women?

Is it that whatever is a mystery attracts extreme curiosity?

Is it a question of the forbidden fruit being the most chased after?

If the burkha was not there, there may be disappointment about what lies beneath, in most cases! But as long as the burkha is present, you only have your own imagination to conjure up a vision of what lies beneath. And perhaps in that imagination is the fascination of discovering the mythical diva or the apsara, if you please!

Many a scene in early Indian films, have been inspired by the burkha and its mysteries. I even remember a famous song featuring Rajendra Kumar on stage, at a college function, singing,

“Yaad hai mukhko un aakhon ki paheli woh nazar,
Jab tera husn mere ishq se takaraya tha…”

He has accidentally bumped into the burkha clad woman, only seen her eyes, and has pretty much fallen in love with her, and penned a classic poetry!!

Likewise, there is the classic dialogue from Pakeezah, where Raj Kumar writes,
“Yeh pair bahut haseen hai.Inhe zameen pe mat utariyega.. “

In praise of just the feet of Meena Kumari, that he saw, in the train…

Yeah, the enigma of the burkha clad woman!

—–
P.S. Just to make it clear, this posting has not been inspired by any burkha clad woman that I have recently come in contact with! 🙂

These days I take a new road from work to home, and it passes through an area where traffic slows down, and where also, there are a lot of burkha clad women on the streets. And observing them every day, I was inspired to write this piece..

(Necessary disclaimer had to be given… !)

BLACK, the film by Sanjay Leela Bhansali, is a masterpiece. It is made with a tremendous heart, with a lot of courage, sincerity, dedication, detailing and of course, huge passion.

Black has all the makings of an Oscar winner, not just in the foreign film category, but in the mainstream category as well.

And yet, I am afraid that Black may not be a blockbuster on the Indian box office!

Don’t get me wrong – it will do decent business, but it may not make as much money as say, Dhoom did! So you get the idea.. at the box office, we are unlikely to see Black become another Sholay or Gadar or Hum Aapke Hain Kaun…!

I would be too pleased if I am proven wrong in my above mentioned assumption. If indeed, Black becomes a big hit, it will mean that the Indian mass audience has matured tremendously, and is appreciating good cinema. Black will certainly succeed in the multiplexes, and in metros. That is a taken. Whether it can impact the interiors to that extent, I am not sure. And why do I doubt it?

The subject and the story line is very intense. It demands your total concentration through the movie. There are no light moments when you can relax, or when some people can go out for a smoke, for example. The colours are not bright – well, they are black! There is no song and dance, and not much comedy either. Forget fights or villains, or item songs! There is substance, and more substance. There are amazing performances, not just by Amitabh and Rani Mukherjee, but also by the child actress. There is a lot of English dialogue and no sub-titles. All these reasons make me wonder about its commercial potential, in India. Sure, the NRIs will love it. They will be proud of the cinema, they may even take their foreign friends to show them what India can do, in cinema!

Well, so much for my doubts about the commercial success for Black.

As regards performances and films, I am sorry for all other film makers and artists whose films are going to be released in the rest of the 11 months of 2005. At least as far as Indian awards are concerned, the following category awards are as good as gone, and I say this, when there are 11 months to go in the year, and when I do not even have an idea of what kind of films are going to come in the rest of the year:

Best Director – Sanjay Leela Bhansali

Best Actor Male – Amitabh Bacchan

Best Actor Female – Rani Mukherjee

either Best Debutante or Best Child Actor – Ayesha

Best Cinematography – Ravi Chandran (I believe)

Perhaps, best Editing may also go to Bela Bhansali (SLB’s sister), although a great movie in the year, may yet pip her for the award!

Even without knowing what kind of cinema is yet to come in 2005, and with all due respect for Aamir Khan and his ‘The Rising’, I cannot believe that Indian Cinema can produce in the space of 11 months, a film better than Black. If it did, then 2005 will be the golden year of Indian cinema!

So the rest of the film makers and artists may as well accept that they are competing for second position in the films that they are releasing in the rest of 2005!

SOme of the highlights of the movie:

– The story completely draws you in, and from the early part of the movie, you are totally engrossed and absorbed into the story and the characters

– The editing is very good. When you are done and out of the cinema, you look back and realise that there is scarcely a scene that was unnecessary or overdone. That clearly indicates very crisp and confident editing

– The photography is also wonderful. A lot of it is in shades of black. So the cinematographer has not had the luxury of using colour to make the picture look good. It is the different shades and hues of black that he has used and made the picture so compulsively endearing. It leaves you breathless. The scene when Rani’s mother comes to see Amitabh to ask him to leave the next day, is when Amitabh’s face is captured totally as a reflection on the glass door. A superb idea. The closeups of the artists and especially of Amitabh earlier in the movie, and later as he grows really old, are also great. The creases and the wrinkles on his face are very well shown.

– The perforamce of the child star is something unbelievable. She has acted so well, in a very difficult role. I would rank this performance as better than Mcaulay Caulkin’s in the original Home Alone. That boy went on to make his millions on the strength of that one performace. Here the young girl has acted better, but besides applause and some awards, will she get any other commercial benefits? I doubt it!

– There are several extremely good scenes and screenplay and which will surely bring some tears to your eyes. The scene on the dining table when Rani’s sister it to be engaged, and the ‘speech’ of Rani read out by AB at that time, is one such scene. The time when AB pushes the girl into the water fountain, and at which time, she learns to recognise words is also a very engaging scene. When Rani graduates and talks to the rest of the students, at the convocation ceremony, that is one more fabulous scene. Then there are many others too..

– Of course, AB and Rani are superb. They have worked extremely hard on this film, as is clearly visible.

Of course, it is a director’s film. SLB made Khamoshi earlier and which was about the deaf and the dumb. He seems to have a clear soft corner in his heart, for this section of story types. But now SLB is different. He does not ‘hesitate’ like he did in those early days. He has gone full strength ahead with this theme.

Cheers.. to Black.. !

After all the great reviews in the papers and the recommendations from few friends, finally went and saw the film, Page 3. And I was pretty disappointed by it, to say the least.

I mean, what IS there in the film? Some of the descriptions that I can give to the movie:

Life and times of the Rich and the Famous – well, the dirty behind-the-scenes part!

A soap opera with bits of thin story lines – on TV, that is THE formula – as they have to drag the thing on for weeks and months; in a 2-3 hour movie, you do need a complete story, which this film does NOT have.

The most complimentary a description that I can provide for the film is that it is a good documentary about the Page 3 culture. Without bothering about any serious story line, it tells you what happens and how it happens in the hi-society as represented by Page 3 culture! Time was when documentaries were on socially sensitive and more important subjects. Well, in current times and in present day, we get a documentary on Page 3. Fair enough! But that is what the status of this movie should be – not a feature film that it portrays itself to me.

The director had done a wonderful job with ‘Chandni Bar’, where also he had done an expose on one of the malaises of society, namely the exploitation of girls in dance bars, but where he had managed to do it with a great story line woven within. Sadly, in the present case of Page 3, he has not felt it necessary to worry about the story!

Waiting to go and see BLACK now… !