An Interesting Manifesto Proposal for Delhi: Exclusive Dharna Facilities

Posted: February 18, 2014 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

politician-cartoon-in-india_sIt was quite a unique and interesting proposal that the party had come up with, as a part of their manifesto, so the journalist decided to go and meet the senior minster to understand more about the proposal..

Interviewer: “Sir, where other metros have been working on setting up conventions centres and exhibition grounds in the city, your proposal for Delhi is something very different?”

Leader: “Yes, it is. You see, what Delhi needs today, is not one more convention centre or exhibition ground. What we needs are a few places where Dharnas can happen comfortably..”

Interviewer: “Few places? Why not just one??”

Leader: “See, this is the problem with you, young reporters. You do not go to the depth of any issue…”

“You know that there are all kinds of Dharnas and we need to take care of all of the different types…”

Interviewer: “Sir, pardon my ignorance on this. But for the benefit of our viewers, can you please explain what are the different type of dharnas?”

Leader: “Offooo.. yeh bhi samjhana padega.. chalo theek hai…”

“See, one is the length of the dharna.. from few hours to a full day to a few days to in fact, the Anna Hazare kind, of many many days…; so we need to see if we need to provide sleeping facilities, toilets, bathrooms, changing rooms, etc…”dharna

“Then, we have to consider the size of audience that the dharna may attract. From few where barely 10-15 people gather – ok, never mind, that is not even called a dharna then. But say, from 100 to 500 to 5,000 to 50,000… we have to account for different kinds. Not only to cover the standing / seating space, but the approach road, exits, canteen facilities, toilet blocks… nahin to bahut gandagi reh jaati hai, dharna ke baad. Akhir log kitna control karke baithe rahenge..?”

“The other aspect is the quality of the dharna. Is it a fast-unto-death? In that case, we have to arrange for refrigerated nimbu paani facility…”

Interviewer: “Sorry to interrupt you, Sir. But if they are fasting, why do you need nimbu paani service?”

Leader: “When is the last time that someone actually fasted to his death?? Arre, yeh death-beth kehne wali baat hai. Koi nahi marta. Everyone waits for the right moment to have the nimbu paani. Now, when that moment comes, we do not know. So it is best to provide for a refrigerated supply of nimbu paani ready and available. After all, if we are creating the state-of-the-art dharna facility, we have to take care of this aspect too, no?”

Interviewer: “Wow, I never thought of all this. Sir, what other facilities you plan to have in these centres?”

Leader: “We have a large media centre at all of these places. Of course, if it is a 100-member dharna place, there will be space for only one OB van. The media will have to find a way to share the signals. But for the larger facilities, multiple OB vans can be parked and there will be space for the on-ground reporters and the cameramen to freshen up, do their last minute makeup, have chai-paani, etc. What we must appreciate is that, while the suited-booted stars of the news channels sitting in their air-conditioned studios get all the limelight, it is the on-ground reporters and the cameramen, who really struggle to send the news as it happens, and it is our duty, to take care of their well being..”

Interviewer: “Wah, that is so noble of you. Sir, you have taken care of television. But we are living in the times of social media. Are you doing anything special for them?”

Leader: “This is the first smart question you have asked! And yes, of course, we are a forward thinking party, and we have considered everything for the social media folks…”

“All the dharna centres will be fully wi-fi equipped – that too at 3G levels, and when 4G comes in, we will upgrade too. And there will be no license wars here.. hahaha.. (*laughs heartily as his own joke*). Plus, we will have charging stations all over, for the phones and the tablets and for those, who are still on their old laptops! There will be facility for the dharna organisers to constantly release video clips and official photos, that the social media types can take and share ahead.. and there will be facilities on the stage, where the dharna leaders are sitting, for them to live tweet too….”

“PLUS, we are doing something that not even the biggest of exhibitions or tradeshow folks have done in India yet. We will set up mega Social Media Command Centres at the two biggest dharna facilities, where multiple large screens will show in realtime, all the various tweets and facebook updates about the dharna, as they are happening, so people can pick up trends, see if any other political leaders are also tweeting, etc. and take necessary further steps…”

Interviewer: “Wow.. I am so impressed. This is truly a first-of-its-kind anywhere in the world…”

“But Sir, while you are doing all this for Delhi, the people of Delhi are definitely NOT going to be happy about this. It causes tremendous inconvenience to them in terms of traffic snarls and what not. And now as per your plans to create 5 different dharna centres in Delhi, the people are going to get disgusted. And in fact, they may not vote for you, in spite of this fantastic plan that you have come up with…?”

Leader: “Haha.. hum ko kya bewakoof samjha hai? Do you think, we will do all this, only to lose votes from Delhi??”

“The concern for the people of Delhi comes first. What we are proposing, for each of these dharna locations, is a direct flyover to the place, from the nearest railway station and from the airport. This flyover will not disturb any other traffic and that way, it will ensure that regular traffic in Delhi, keeps moving on fine. Now you understand? Delhi will get the benefit of numerous dharnas that will be based in the city – and the accompanying economic benefits to the trade in Delhi – and yet, it will not impact any traffic problems for the residents of the city…”

“Now, isn’t that a winning strategy??”

Interviewer: “Yes, Minister…”

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