Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. However, any similarity to persons living or dead is purely intentional 🙂
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The police station at Walkeshwar was otherwise a quiet place.
The occasional pickpocket, and the one-off theft, or a few drunk drivers that were caught. A posting here was a peaceful posting for most of the cops there.
So when at 10 am in the morning, there was the massive hoard of people that barged into the small police station, and the utter commotion that it caused, the station in charge, Inspector Shinde was a worried man.
“Kay chalala aahe ikde? Yeh sab kya hai? Itne log idhar ikkatha kyu hue ho? Lafda kya hai re?
“Ae Pandu, kay chalala aahe? Don char la aat madhe gheun ye, bakkina baaher thambayla saang.”
“OOOO… ITNA GHONGHAT KIYA NA TO SABKO ANDAR KAR DOONGA.. IDHAR JAGAH NAHI HAI TO SAALE SABKO ARTHUR ROAD YA TIHAR BHEJ DOONGA.. SHANTI SE RUKNE KA, KYA?? SAMJHA NA.. “
Pandu picks a few of the mature looking, educated folks – 3 men and 1 woman – inside, to meet Inspector Shinde.
Shinde: “Ha bola, kay zala.. itna subah subah ye shor kayka hai? Koi badi chori hui hai kya?”
The men look at each other, and through eye contact and nudging, they prod one of them to be the impromptu spokesperson on behalf of them.
Lightblue shirt: “Sir, you have to help us. This is a real crisis. These people, you know… “
Shinde: “Kiski baat kar rahe ho? Koi gang wale taklif de rahe hai kya, aapko?”
Lightblue shirt: “No, no.. there is no gang. We live in a very peaceful area that way. We have no such problem. This is very different issue.. “
Shinde: “Phir kya hai? Gang nahi to kaun hai? Are koi political honga to mere paas mat aana. Upar ka bahut pressure hota hai. Abhi tak Hazare ki impact nahi hui hai idhar.. ha ha.. ”
And Shinde laughs out loudly at his own joke. The four of them also smile weak smiles, to appear to have enjoyed the humour.
Lightblue shirt: “Sir, the problem is of a household kind. Not a political one.. “
Impatient Shinde: “Dekho, ghar me jhagda hota hai na, to aapas me nipat lene ka. Miya-bibi me to takrar hoti hi rehti hai. Abhi meri hi baat karo.. pehle jab dance bar pe raid maarke me late pahuchta tha, to meri bibi roz mere saath ladti thi. Lekin thodi gifts-bifts de ke mai use mana leta tha.. to ghar ka mamla aapas me nipat lo na.. itna shor macha ke police station me aane ka kya matlab?”
Realizing that lightblue shirt is not getting the point across, greenshirt decides to take matters in his own hand, and interjects.
Greenshirt: “No Sir, it is not about domestic problem like that. You see, we are all working people, and need to go to work. And we are dependent on maid servants who come for domestic help. Now, we have a problem on our hands as the entire area’s maid servants are refusing to come to work. You know, one of them goes, some other one helps out for the day. But if the ENTIRE lot do not come to work, how can we survive? They HAVE to work.. “
Shinde: “Par hua kya? Aap lok unko theek se pagar nahi dete ho kya? Kyo nahi aana chahate?”
Greenshirt: “Oh, these are Walkeshwar maids. They get paid handsomely. Some of them can own their own flats in Nalasopara, with the money they earn as domestic servants.. “
Wanting to show his knowledge and regain some of his lost importance in the conversation, lightblue shirt butts in..
Lightblue shirt: “Aren’t they covered under ESMA? You know, Essential Services Maintenance Act.. ?”
Shinde giving lightblue shirt the LOOK: “Mujhe ESMA maalum hai. Mujhe law mat sikhao. I know legal well. OK?”
Shinde: “PANDU.. te koni bai loga pan aahe ka baaher? Don-char la bolav ki aat madhe? Baghu, problem kai aahe?”
Pandu goes and brings in 2-3 well dressed women, who hardly look like maid servants. But who are. Of course, well paid Walkeshwar maid servants.
Shinde: “Aaho.. tumhi kam ka nahi karat re? Kay zala ki?”
Bai 1: “Saab… hum nahi kaam kar sakte ab. Apni bhi kuch izzat hai na..?”
Shinde: “Kyu, kya hogaya aisa? Ye log koi problem kar rahe hai kya?” (and looks sharply at lightblue shirt.. who immediately looks down, embarrassed, and avoiding the eye contact)
Bai 2: “Nahin saab, abhi tak inse koi problem nahi hai, lekin aaga jake.. ?”
Bai 1: “Saab, ye log paisa to accha dete hai. Ghar jaise bhi rakhte hai humko. Lekin hamari izzat ka sawaal hai.. “
Shinde: “Are, theek se batao na, hua kya hai? Yeh izzat-izzat kya kar rahe ho?”
Bai 3, who looks like the leader of the pack, and who has been quiet so far, takes a deep and audible breath. Bais 1 and 2 know now, that it’s their turn to stay quiet and they look at Bai 3, who is getting ready to make her speech..
Bai 3: “Dekho saab.. ye sab acche ghar vale log, philm aur tv dekhke uske hisab se kaam karte hai. Abhi unhone dekha ke koi izzatdaar admi, apni maid ka rape karneke baad, do-char din jail me chakkar lagake, phir bail pe nikal jayega, to woh bhi aisa karne to tayyar ho jayenge na? Phir hamara kya hoyenga?”
Shinde: “Are, tv aur film me to kuch bhi kahani dikhate hai. Aise sab serial ko dekhge thodi koi waisa kaam karne lag jayega. Aur koi aisa gunah karke nikal nahi jaa sakta. Hum log chhode ge nahi usko..”
Bai 3: “Saab.. lagta hai aap tv nahi dekhte aur paper bhi nahi padhte. Are.. hum log serial ki baat nahi kar rahe. Jo news me aaya hai uski baat kar rahe hai..”
Bai 3: “JAB SHINEY NIKAL GAYA BAIL PE, TO BAI LOG KO KAUN SECURITY DEGA??? IS LIYE JAB TAK SHINEY AHUJA JAIL KE BAHAR HAI, HUM LOG KAAM PE NAHI JAYENGE…!”
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Epilogue:
What does an old maid tell to a younger one, who is not getting sleep at night: “So jaa.. nahi to Shiney Ahuja aa jayega..”
Random Musings 