Random Musings

Three times yesterday, I had a scary experience on the road, for the exact same reason.

I was going up a flyover. It was a one lane road. The speed was decent. As you drive in this manner on a flyover, you don’t expect surprises. So you tend to be looking in the rear view mirror, look to your left or right, veer a bit to the left or right extremes of the lane, etc. And some of which was what I was doing, as I drove up that road.

When all of a sudden, I see these two old ladies, cleaning the street on the side, without any kind of protection (like traffic divertors, etc.). It took me by such a surprise that I would have almost ran over them, if not for a last second switch. Wow..

A nearly same thing happened on one more flyover, only it was not as close a shave this time. Here there were these three chaps, merrily painting the side of the flyover. There IS NO side lane in these flyovers and the lane is almost touching the edge. So when these chaps work on the side, they are ‘on the road’. And at the pace at which cars are going, there is a genuine risk of driving over them. WHY do they not realise this? They are so cool, they work as if they were working in a lab, comfortably without a trace of worry. And for us drivers, there is so much anxiety..

And then on the way back, a similar incident happened, except it was not a pedestrian, but a car. Again, on a flyover, with fast paced holiday traffic. I was in the left lane. There was space between my vehicle and the edge of the road, and a motorcyle chose to pass me from the left. Which was fine. I saw him and kept room for him on my side. When suddenly, I saw a white van parked on the left, perhaps on account of some car problem. But no blinkers, no warning. Since I was off the edge, I had enough time and room to move in a bit and pass the vehicle from its right. But rememeber that motorbike which was coming from my left. Trying to pass me, at good speed, assuming the road ahead to be nice and empty, as it should be, on a flyover. Only to suddenly find a vehicle parked in the front, in the dark of the night, and with very little room to do anything at all, other than try and jam the brakes hard. Which is what he did and came to a halt, a few inches before that vehicle.

Whatever was the problem with that car, why did it have to stop on the side and stay there, on the top of the flyover?? And if it had to, where were the blinking lights??

In all three cases, the culprits concerned (the pedestrians in the first two cases, and this vehicle in the last case) would not even have an inkling to the kind of danger they were creating! They were just so cool, man. I felt like getting down and beating them up. After all, if they want to commit suicide, why don’t they do it some other way, without getting others into trouble??!

“Driver Tales” or “Chauffeur Stories” if you will….

How many times have I seen at parties, the chat veering off to driver idiosyncracies! About how one’s driver is funnier than others’, and how much one is bearing, with one’s driver! And yet, how “he’s an okay guy, so we tolerate him…”!

Often we hear elaborate stories about one’s driver. The extent of observations that one makes about the driver, shows a phenomenal level of interest in that chap that we take. Sometimes more than what we take in our spouses or children!!

So what prompts such thoughts?
I think, most of us are fundamentally, ‘back seat drivers’. And where we CAN help it, we want the car driven exactly as we’d like to drive, even if its someone else who is doing the driving. We do not feel like that at all, when we are in a taxi or in a bus. Somehow the mind adjusts to the fact that, here, we are not going to be able to dictate the way the vehicle is being driven. But as soon as we are in our car, and there is someone else driving, we want to comment on the style, on how to brake as you near the signal, about how to take to the left lane at certain times, about how to avoid the pedestrians, etc. etc.

Driver Tales..

Yes, I think we could actually compile a book with everyone’s experiences. Each of us has so many to recount. We just need to have the topic started and we can make our several contributions to it.

A deeper philosophy behind this?
I think the car is just a symbol. Its our life. We may give some part of the so-called control to someone else. Like we may entrust say, the responsibilities of our finances to someone – perhaps our spouse or an advisor. But we still do not like to give up control. We want to keep telling that person, to do this or do that, etc. And yet, there are times when we realise that this part is out of our control (we are in the cab or in the bus!), and we are relaxed to let that time pass.

In terms of drivers, I have been there and done that (backseat driving, I mean). However now, I have a different attitude. With my current chap, I just made it clear at the outset that I want him to be safe, never to be in a rush, drive comfortably, let me take care of my reading or other work, as I sit at the back, and don’t give me tension on account of the driving.

Many times, I feel that ‘why doesn’t he do this or that?’ as I observe his driving. But I quickly let that thought move out and pass. And resume my work or my other thoughts.

Does my own philosophical analogy carry through in my changed attitude? Perhaps, it does. I have realised that some things HAVE to be delegated. While delegating, you specify your priorities (“I don’t want you to cause tension to me, as I sit back”), but beyond that, you need to have the task get handled by the person to whom you have delegated. Undoubtedly, it will be done somewhat differently than what you would have done. But that you have to accept. It has freed you to do other things – more important to you at the time. And for that, you have compromised, in not having the ‘car driven, the exact way you would want to drive’. But thats a fair swap. He may actually take a better or more efficient route, he may take care of the car better – perhaps your own confidence with your own car might have pushed the car to some dangerous zones. He being an outsourced party, is generally more careful about your car, than you are yourself.

I think the analogy works. And works well.

But nonetheless, there is room for the book, Driver Tales, even if it turns out to be a funny piece, after all!

P.S. Speaking of analogies, with regards to car driving, I have an elaborate theory, perhaps justifying a Doctoral research level work, to relate the style of one’s driving to one’s character or personality. Maybe, I will get to that at some point of time. Meanwhile, if I see a person driving, I do pick up my own pointers about the person, just from that. I have been bang on target so far, in my assessment of the person, as per his driving style… !

As I drive around the lanes of Parel, Lower Parel, Dadar, etc., I pass by lots of areas, that are very typically representing the real middle class of the city. Those households where the earning member is perhaps a diploma engineer working in a textile mill, or a clerk, or a junior executive. Perhaps an average income of Rs. 5000 to Rs. 20000 per month. With kids, elders, etc. all staying together, in small sized flats or chawls.

What I have noticed over the years, is the one common piece of garment that the women wear, most of the time. One would expect this garment to be a sari or a salwar kameez. But indeed, its neither of these two.

What I have seen is that women typically wear what can be described as a nightie or a kaftan. A one-piece cotton garment, that is both sober, as well as cheap, easy to maintain, easy to wear, very comfortable. I would suspect that readymade versions of these may be starting at Rs. 40-Rs. 70 range. Its an amazingly popular piece of garment, and I have been stunned to see its universal appeal in these environs.

An observation so strong that I felt it worthwhile to share it here!

Yes, in spite of what I wrote about my expectations, I had to go and see the new Don anyway. After all, it was Don, it was Farhan Akhtar and it was Shah Rukh Khan. With whatever thoughts I may have had, I had to give them a chance and check the film out. And which I did.

And this is what I felt about it…

That if it wasn’t a remake, it might have been not too bad. As an entertainer.

But because it was a remake, and we had a reference point, we could not help but feel, how it failed to impress!

Amitabh had and has a personality to be a Don. Tall, lanky, smart style of a brisk walk, and that voice – wow – that voice itself, makes such a difference.

Shah Rukh is great for a DDLJ, a KKHH and the like. But a Don NEEDS an Amitabh. Or perhaps an Ajay Devgan (sorry, I keep going back to him; this role would have suited him well!).

Chandra Barot, when he made the first Don, used a rapid pace for the film, at that time. For those times, Don moved almost lighting fast. There was something happening all the time, and perhaps that was the reason for its success. Here, Farhan attempts a similar rapid style, but you get a little lost occasionally.

Boman Irani’s character for example, leaves a lot of questions unanswered. Somewhere in that pace, we miss a few pointers and leaves us with question marks. ** Spoiler – in case you have not see the film ** Like if he was a famous policeman, and whose face would be seen around, would Singhania have not seen it, and known that Bardhan is still around? And then, would it not have been public knowledge, at least with the mafia? Would someone not have attempted to knock him off earlier, then?

The end was the most pathetic one. Obviously it was supposed to be ‘the inspiration’ to make it “different” from the original. But in an over exerted attempt to be different, it turned out to be a terrible one. As you saw people coming out of the theatre at the end of the movie, you saw most heads shaking horizontally, disapprovingly. Thanks to that end.. !

SRK had to say _that_ dialogue like, 10 times in the movie, to get registered, “don ko pakadna…”. Without so many attempts, it would have not been noticed at all, or what?

Again, Kareena is no match for Helen. Bold attempt, but ultimately, did not measure up. The Khaike Paan Banaraswala song turned out to be a group dance of the kind you’d see on Boogie Woogie. In the original, it clearly aided the story and was an amazingly energetic attempt, by the bungling Vijay – the rustic village boy!

As I said at the outset, if there was no comparison to be made, we might have yet come out of the film feeling like we saw a fun entertainer. But with the unavoidable comparison, you have to feel sorry – that it clearly did not measure up!!

In recent times, whenever there has been a cricket game scheduled for a Sunday or a holiday, its got rained out or something like that.

Today, we had India playing at home, after a long time, and against England, and it was a Sunday, and thankfully, it did not rain, and we had a full game to view.

It was fun. Of course, because India won.
Munaf Patel bowled really well. I do believe he is one of the better players for India. Yet, India remains fascinated about Irfan Pathan. Before the game, all they could talk about in the fast bowling department, was about Pathan. Sure, he is good talent too. But the guy who has come up very well in recent months, who is always a threat to take wickets, who is a genuine wicket taker, is Munaf Patel. And he delivered today too. Bowled a beautiful line and length and kept plugging away. Of course, it was a good day for Pathan as well. So it worked out well, in the end.

From the display today, it is clear that England will not be a threat in the tournament. Whatever happens to India, but England just does not have the talent or the firepower deep enough, to be a threat to anyone.

India did mess up the chase a bit. What should have been a cool and confident chase, turned out to be a little worrisome one. But we emerged victorious finally.

Contrast that with Sri Lanka’s win over West Indies. A ruthless job, both with the ball and the bat. We were in a similar position today, but we did not finish England off so well, after having all top batsmen back in the pavilion. And we also did not get to the small total with fewer wickets and more emphasis!

I guess Sri Lanka is a clear favourite, not just because of this one game, but because of the way they have played over the last few months. Amazing consistency and killer instinct.

Ahh.. serious cricket after a long time!

My commute takes me past some hutments, each day. The car also tends to slow down there, and when I am not busy reading or on the phone, I take the opportunity to look inside the huts. To get a glimpse of the life there.

To see if people are depressed at their state..
To see if there is grief written all over their faces..
A sense of resignation about their lives..

That is what I would expect to find. Because we grieve when we don’t get the TV remote control, and when the newspaper comes a little late in the morning, and when the traffic delays us by five minutes, etc.

So I would believe that these people, living in huts, with little fun or luxury, would have lives of complete depression.

Only to find reality very different, as I glance into those hutments.

Kids taking bath on the streets, with water poured out of their aluminium containers.
Do they care that the world is looking at them or that its cold water (not the comfortable geyser water that we “must” have each morning)?

Working men getting ready, getting into their shirts and trousers, combing their hair to a nicety, as they head off to their jobs as peons or clerks or whatever.

Women going about the cleaning of the huts, the cooking, oiling and combing their young daughters’ hair..

Elders sitting together and chatting.

The “room” if you may call it, is a single one, at most, with several people spending the night inside. It also has space for their meagre assets. And several of these will have a TV set – finally their one low cost source of entertainment.

I am sure there may be days or times when depression must be coming in. Perhaps when there is no job. Or if they are daily earners, then on the day of a strike, when nothing comes home, or when there are floods and water’s all over their homes, and there is no income for the day.. there will be those days.

But if one was to think if there is a daily depression, at least what I observe is far from it. There is a certain acceptance of life. Perhaps the generation may never come out of that state of life. I mean, the bread earner of the family supporting 10-12 persons, could be earning what, Rs. 3000 – 4000. Or even lesser. And that may go gradually to 5000 or so. But quite likely, it may plateau out at a point. With that kind of money, two square meals, and an occasional trip back to the village is about what can be dreamt of. Is it possible to move to a pucca house at this level? Unlikely. It can only be a miracle that can rescue a family out of their state.

But they seem to be fine with their state of affairs. At least outwardly!

And we need to contrast that with lives of our kind of people. Far better off, with a nice roof over our heads, good food at each meal, many comforts and luxuries. And yet we fret for the smallest of inconveniences that hit us. We lose our temper, we are ready to take on a fight!

Lets learn from those living in the huts, to appreciate the life that we have.. !

Yeah, I missed mentioning it in my earlier posting on remakes.
What is my feeling about this new Umrao Jaan?

Lets start with the maker, J. P. Dutta.
I see that he generates a lot of interest and respect from the industry.
Like each time his ‘next big film’ is talked about, written about, etc.
Maybe I might be missing something here, but honestly speaking, I don’t remember his last great winning film! So whats the brouhaha about, with J P Dutta’s films? Is it just that he has the money to get big stars together for his films, which are big budget ones and which is the reason for the great interest that he generates??

So from that point of view, I have a doubt about the film, in the first place. Unlike a Sanjay Leela Bhansali who remade Devdas (and even then, my expectations were very low – inspite of the HUGE respect that I have for SLB), its only J P Dutta who is making Umrao Jaan. If a Refugee is anything to go by, I am not sure he has the ability to convey a certain romanticism that Umrao Jaan demands.

Aishwarya Rai doing what Rekha did? Well, this will be the huge factor, whether the film succeeds or not. This is the absolute clincher. Is Aishwarya just a little too perfect a beauty? More of a princess than a courtesan? Rekha had a clear sensuality, and with her brown features, could do complete justice to the role.
But heck, thats only as far as looks go. And certainly looks are not the be-all factor to do a good job of this role. There is dancing – which Aishwarya can do very well. But most importantly, there is acting. Where aside from a few great ones, Aishwarya has not been so good consistently. A HDDCS or a Taal were the clear exceptions. In between, there have been a host of oridinary films, and ordinary acting. Blinded by her perfect looks, we may often miss the point. But fact remains that often enough, she has given very ordinary performances. If JP Dutta manages to bring out the best in her, the film may yet work well.

And then there is the other critical factor – no, not Abhishek – I am referring to the music. Where Khayyam was absolutely brilliant in the original (we are still haunted by those tunes he composed – “In aankhon ki masti mein, maikhane hazaron hai.. ” and others!). And against that, we have Anu Malik. Not an inspiring comparison at all. But I would hasten to add that Anu Malik, in between his plagiarised tunes, has come up with some extremely good original compositions too. So if this is one of his better efforts, again, we could be pleasantly surprised.

And why should Abhishek not be a factor? Well, at least in the original, it was Rekha all the way. Farouqe Shaikh who played the role that Abhishek is playing in the new one, was hardly there in a few scenes. And there was little that he had to do, except look all lost in the beauty of Umrao Jaan!! So unless that role has been enhanced for the new UJ, Abhishek cannot have a large role to play in the success or otherwise, of this new version.

And like Devdas, I have a question about the theme and its relevance to today’s times. Does today’s audience go to a Devdas or an Umrao Jaan, viewing it like an incredulous fantasy (“oh, how they lived in those days, maaaan, wasn’t that too funny to be believed?!”) or would they actually identify it to be a real story??

Back when Dilip Kumar’s Devdas was released, or when Rekha’s Umrao Jaan came by, there was still an audience present who identified with those characters. In case of the former, people had seen such undying love, sacrifice and the like. In case of the latter, there were people who had seen or heard of the Lucknowi courtesans and those mehfils.

But today, a generation later, are these concepts that are not identified with at all? Today a dancer is associated with a dance bar (“Chandni Bar”) and not the mujras as seen in a Pakeezah or the original Umrao Jaan.

On that concern, I wonder whether these films can make a dent with today’s audience at all?!

All in all, my feeling is that Umrao Jaan has a chance of success. A lot of things have to go right for it. But potentially it can work. Lets see if it does or not..

I have already dwelt at length about the new Sholay that Ram Gopal Verma is making, and why I feel that it will be a non-starter.

Likewise, I am not so thrilled about the other one in the pipeline, Don, either. Whatever I have heard (SRK’s dialogues) or seen (rushes / previews) of Don, do not make for an adequate comparison with the original. Those of us who have seen the earlier one, and remember it frame by frame, are likely to feel disappointed. Very.

If they are aiming for a new audience, who are seeing it like a new film, I don’t know. Maybe it may work for them.

For that matter, I was not very impressed by Devdas either. Sanjay Leela Bhansali is one of my favourite directors. I am completely in awe of Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, and also loved Black and Khamoshi, and yet, I believe that he erred with Devdas. It was not a film for our times, and it was thrust down our throats, by excessive marketing.

In case of Devdas though, there was a chance of its success. At least it was less likely to be compared with its previous versions, as those had come many years back. But for Don and Sholay, memory is still fresh for a large part of the audience. So I am afraid that it will be challenging for these to work. And they say that Amar Akbar Anthony is also being remade by Salman Khan and his brothers. Oh brother! Another glorious mistake, if you ask me!

There is a huge market for movies at this time. People are paying good money, lot of filmmakers are raking in the moolah. And yet good, new scripts are not easy to come by. So they are resorting to this remake rehash business. Sorry, I am not impressed!

What is he trying to achieve?
Ram Gopal Verma has been talking of making a remake of Sholay for more than a year at least. And the film is yet to complete its casting, and yet to go for shooting.
So what is the sense in talking so much, so early??

In any case, I think he’s fighting a losing battle. An iconic movie that Sholay was, everyone holds it in such high regard, that nothing-repeat nothing – will compare well, with it. And so fans will be disappointed, one or the other way.

Now, the details, on why things look so challenging (suicidal??) for RGV:
1. He is basing the movie in a city. A large part of the success of Sholay had so much to do with its setting. The dacoits in the ravines, the train robbery, Basanti, Imam, the Holi song, etc. And those rustic dialogues – “bahut yaaran lagta hai”, “ab aaya hai oont pahad ke niche”. How can you speak such dialogues in a city and look credible? And without them, what kind of Sholay will it be?

2. They write that it took a long time for them to figure out a “look” for the Gabbar Singh, that Amitabh is to be. And that look that was finally revealed resembles Amitabh in Deewar, sitting with a rope around his neck, inside the warehouse, waiting to take on the goons. Only older. The same swagger, the legs on the chair, look. So not really a ‘new’ look, also not half as menacing as Amjad Khan. Again, whats the point??

3. The casting that we know so far. Katrina Kaif as Jaya?? One part that is right here, is that the widow Jaya hardly had any dialogues to speak. And yes, the less you make Katrina speak, the better you are! But there was also the young unmarried Jaya. That was an amazing cameo. The Holi scene – chutti waali Holi, etc. Running behind the cart, blabbering away, huge energy, etc. Cannot imagine Katrina doing anything like that!
Then we have Mohit Alawat as Jay (Amitabh in the original). So yes, you first ask the question, Mohit who? And then because you don’t know him, you have no idea what kind of justice will be do to Jay’s character.
Urmila as Helen, doing Mehbooba. That part is fine. I guess as good as you can get when you cannot get the original Helen. But wait a sec – who’s going to do the Jalal Agha routine? Because the playback for that song, I believe, is going to be (oh God!) Himesh Reshamiya. Puhleese.. the original was RD, and we have Himesh now. Just riding on Himesh’s current popularity does not work. If you want to repeat the magic of the original, I would have believed that Shankar Mahadevan or Sudesh Bhosale would have been far better choices.
And then we have Ajay Devgan as Veeru. I am a big admirer of Ajay Devgan’s. And perhaps he is best suited today, to swing one of the most challenging roles. Veeru had so much character in Sholay. In the limelight that Amjad and Sanjeev Kumar got, I think one of Dharmendra’s best performances was given lesser importance. I would believe though, that Dharmendra was very crucial for Sholay, and he had a tremendous role there. Ajay Devgan, with all his talent, will have to do a fantastic job, to come up close to that role.
Rajpal Yadav as Surma Bhopali is fine, I guess. Maybe the only place where the remake may even have a better performance than the original.
And Mohanlal as Thakur. Again a huge question mark? With his accent from the South, can he deliver those deadpan dialogues, “jao, gabbar se keh do ke Ramgarh vaalon ne kutton ko roti daalna bandh kar diya hai”? Very challenging for Mohanlal.

4. Then again, RGV claims that its an urban story, and its really a revenge story, so it can be adapted. Sure, its a revenge theme, but then don’t call it Sholay. Take insporation from it, adapt it, but dont call it Sholay. For as soon as you call it that, there is forced comparison, and consequential disappointment!

5. Lastly, where is the passion? The passion came from Salim-Javed writing that great script and dialogues. From RD’s music. The sets. The cinematography. The support from the producer, G P Sippy. And most importantly, the dream and vision of Ramesh Sippy. Where will RGV find that??

I believe this is one non-starter.

I am going to trust movie reviews lesser and lesser.

They gave 4 stars and a very flattering review to Khosla Ka Ghosla.
And I went and saw it. And came out wondering if, with the stakes that there are in the film industry now, are all reviews “purchased”??

How can anyone give 4 stars to this dumb ass movie?

Its an extremely ordinary effort, perhaps deserving a slot on DD’s movie channel, for budding film makers, more out of encouraging them, and not for any serious commercial opportunity.

But with numbers panning out the way they are, a good run for a week, and money is recovered, any kind on nonsense comes out, and is getting purchased and released as well. And to get that first week push, they are able to get the reviews manipulated.

Damn!